Observations from Week 1 of a Ketogenic Diet.

Husbeast and I are doing a big scary thing together: the Keto diet. In a nutshell, high fat, moderate protein, very low carb. If you are interested, here’s the reddit page where you can find the actual information why this is a healthy, effective lifestyle. But as for how it works out practically:

We can eat cheese! So much cheese. Cheese isn’t a sin anymore. Cheese is delicious health food. And… WE’RE ON A DIET AND WE CAN EAT BACON. BEST DIET EVER.

Wow, so many recipes. Full meal plans with shopping lists? Sweet. Bring on the avocado and olive oil!

First day: headaches. But broth made it better. Self talk: drink more water. More water. MOAR WATER YOU LAZY HOAR!

Heavy whipping cream is really, really yummy in my morning coffee, and makes it very filling.

Chickens are awesome because they poop eggs. We’re keeping the chickens!

I’m dieting, and I’m really not that hungry. I am beginning to see what happened when I ate carbs, the burn and crash energy cycle. On keto, even in the rough beginning, I’m more stable and satisfied than I ever was on regular diet, or when I wasn’t dieting enough.

Fat bombs are a thing, to make sure you get enough fat. I made fat bombs. Life is crazy.

This salad could be so much better. *Liberally adds more avocado, cheddar cheese, and ranch dressing.* There, now it’s much healthier! *Eats half of salad.* Wow, I’m stuffed. You want this, Husbeast?

Thanksgiving prep: This green bean casserole could be so much better. *Adds heavy whipping cream, more butter, ranch, and bacon.* “This is literally the best green bean casserole I have ever made, and it’s so much healthier with added fat!” Adventures in kitchen: microwaving cauliflower and putting it into blender, adding obscene amounts of cheese and butter, tastes better than mashed potatoes ever hoped to.

Day after Thanksgiving: HOT DAMN I LOST WEIGHT OVER THANKSGIVING. I even cheated a teensy bit and had a sip of wine, a bite of cobbler, and a bite of roll.

Cleaning out cupboards of carbs we shall no longer eat. Our kitchen currently has lost the most weight at about 70 pounds.

Later: must have crunchy. Oh, hello pork rinds. My old friend. You are the best. Even better, with more cheese.

Cheeses: I have sampled some delicious cheese types I had no idea were out there (becuz cheese used to be WRONG). But oh, honey, the delicious cheeses have no end. Gouda, you are my new true love.

The new pee on a stick: Am I in ketosis? Yes! It’s purple, I’m in ketosis! WINNING.

End of long shopping day, run into McDonalds. “Hey, can I get bacon on a quarter pounder with cheese? Great, can you sub lettuce for the bun?” Man gives me the confused head tilt, but agrees. “OK, I’d also like a side salad with ranch.” More head tilt from man, but he rings me up, and has to watch over the people at sandwich prep to make sure no bun occurs. Cheeseburger without a bun is so much more delicious! The bun totally eclipses part of a taste. PS McDonald’s buns have some scary crap in them.

So many recipes! I can make keto bread, keto brownies, keto pizza. The things I thought I would be missing I don’t have to be missing because almond flour is a thing. WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE.

In conclusion, this has been the best start to a diet I’ve ever had, despite the fact it was a crazy amount of cooking for Thanksgiving, the children were so stir crazy and fighting so much I wanted to move to a hut on an island somewhere, and our fridge has been slowly dying. KETO IS AWESOME.

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